6 years of wedded bliss. Maybe, maybe not. What’s our secret? The fight, I guess.
I never really seen how hard we fight until I came across "The Talk" show one day.
Do you believe two people can really drift apart?
Do you believe two people can really drift apart?
Yes, people can drift apart for a number of reasons.
Sometimes, there’s usually a lot of conflict first, before people actually "drift apart". But you have to work through the conflict, get past it, and fight for your relationship. Don't just give up, just because there is a conflict.
Getting married at a young age also puts you at risk for “drifting apart”. When you get married young, you change, especially between your 20’s-30’s, there’s a lot of changes going on. If you don’t work hard to stay connected to your partner during those changes, yes, you naturally can drift apart. There’s a natural cycle where you stop sprinting up the stairs to see your spouse. And if you don’t choose that path and choose to use excuses- “I’m busy, I’ll spend time with you next week, we’ll have sex next another day.” The spark slowly disappears. Sometimes cheating is not the disease, it’s the symptom. The person gets bored and they just don’t feel it anymore. You have to fight, you have to fight for your relationship! Fight for your marriage! Don’t just drift apart because it’s convenient.
Distance. Distance can do either one of two things- bring you closer together or tear you apart. No matter the distance- if you really want it, if you want your marriage to work, again you have to fight for it. Everyday, fight for your marriage!
But you see, as natural as it is to “drift apart”. It doesn’t just happen- it’s a choice. You don’t have to be lazy, you don’t have to get “comfortable”, you don’t have to stop “dating”. You keep fighting, keep courting, keep chasing, keep pursuing.
I fell in love with Jarrid Wilson’s article- because this is one of things that keeps us going, we keep fighting for each other and continue pursuing one another;
“Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end. I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.
Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.
When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.
I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”
Oh and most importantly- I would like to mention, our marriage has blossomed because of God. Because we realized and accepted that God created marriage- that we each had our own roles to play. And once we were in position and put our trust in His Word, I knew my place as a great wife, and he knew his place and became an even greater husband. Of course, we still argue, of course we get angry, but we know that we have to get through it. Giving up is not an option. We must fight for our marriage. It will never be perfect, but it is pretty amazing! For the longest time, we struggled, we had to fight so hard to keep our marriage afloat, but we did it, we’re here, and we never gave up. We fought, God saw that we fought, we learned, we grew, and once God saw that we finally chose Him as our foundation, in came the overflow of blessings. I no longer doubted what He said about marriage. I was living proof that everything His Word had said about marriage, was true. My only regret was wishing I found out sooner.
Anyways- a happy marriage is possible, you both just have to want it bad enough.
Happy Six Year Anniversary to my Sailor!
